The Happy Parts of a Hurricane

As a child of CA, especially one in college during the 1990's where many of us had a deep philosophical connection to the zen-like Patrick Swayze in Point Break, I knew that hurricanes produced amazing waves; excellent surfing conditions (though dangerous). Seeing as I was a Valley Girl, not a surfer, I didn't really grasp what that meant. Until to today.

Today was the first annual beach festival in Newport, RI. It was at Easton beach, a small spit of land between the ocean and Easton pond. The festival featured free slides on the water slide and reduced cost bumper boats along with great food (that we missed because Monster was ready to leave before the food was ready to be bought, oh well, next year) and of course, the beach. Because of Hurricane Bill, there was no swimming allowed on the beach. The waves were not only huge, but very strong with a powerful undertow. I don't think I've ever seen waves as high nor an ocean as turbulent as that. I realize that many others have seen the seas in even more dramatic conditions, but this was MY first.

We decided to look around a bit before playing in the ocean. Since there was no swimming, we didn't think we would get very wet and wanted to see what else there was. Walking around, we stopped by the nice playground, the blow up water slide (just an inflatable slide about 18' in the air with flowing water, the slide didn't end in any pool) and the bumper boats ( a handful of blow up boats with small motors in a pool about 25' across and about 2 feet deep). Monster was curious about both of these. First, he watched some kids go down the slide and then wanted to go on the boats. Ok, he didn't actually want to go on the boats, he wanted to go swimming in the "pool". The awesome ride operator let us see if Monster would get on before we bought a ticket (rather than waste the money). As expected, Monster wouldn't get on the boat.

He also wanted to go on the water slide. It was so steep, I didn't think he would, but the wonderful ride operator let Mr. walk Monster up the ladder to see if he would try it and kept the other kids off when Monster and Mr climbed back down the ladder. Even though Monster didn't go down, I was impressed that he would go up and try. If it was a little less steep, I bet he would have even gone down!

After try something new (and failing, in his eyes), he wanted to go into the water. Mr and I didn't change into our suits, thinking we wouldn't go in that deep (we were idiots), but made Monster change. At first Monster would hold up his trunks, like a skirt, so it wouldn't get wet. He was fairly timid, considering he and Mr had gone to the beach several times with much success. It is so funny how he will do anything to avoid getting wait and then throwing himself completely into the water when he finally does get wet! We hung out in the water for a while (with me finally getting my swimsuit on and Mr. giving up and swimming in his shorts ;)) before Monster decided he wanted to try something new again. It was as if he had been thinking about things and finally came to a decision, but he suddenly took off toward the bumper boats.

Mr and I eventually caught up to him and he indicated he wanted to go on the ride. I got down and made him look into my eyes and asked him if he wanted to go into the water or the boat and he said "Water", so I assumed he wanted to go swimming in the "pool". He was quite insistent, and after a while he did say he wanted in the boat (when presented between the boat and water), so Mr went to get tickets while Monster and I got in line. There were several kids ahead of us, and Monster was quite patient. Every time I asked "Boat or water" he would answer boat, so we stayed in line. Finally it was our turn. Monster climbed the metal steps and got to the edge. the very nice ride operator held the inflated boat steady and, shock of shocks, Monster tentatively stepped onto the boat. He gingerly climbed in, and after some help, sat down and was off. He didn't seem too keen on actually steering the thing, but he stayed seated for the duration of the ride and got off without any meltdowns, tantrums or problems. I was so very, very proud of him! The entire experience couldn't have been easy and he did great.

But damn, what a time to be without the camera! We had it but I had put it in the car when i put my suit on since I didn't want to get it wet.

Soon after the boats, we packed up and went home. Monster has a problem with wet clothes, and did have a bit of a meltdown when I wouldn't change out of my suit fast enough for him. All-in-all, though, it was a really fun day. I'm so proud of the little guy. I know the entire move has been tough on him, but he's been a real trooper about everything. Part of me wonders the move made him feel so powerless that he decided (consciously or not) to become more assertive and forceful about getting his own way, along with being a bit more fearful-wanting to control everything around him, even Mr and I.

Anyway, here are some pictures of Monster enjoying the surf:






You can see how rough the surf is from some of the pictures. The amazing part is the photo of Monster sitting in the water with the tide rushing out. You can see how fast the water is rushing around him.

Angels on Horseback

While we lived in Pacifica, Mr. found a great place to take Monster horseback riding (http://www.halleckcreekranch.org/). I've posted a video from there. The folks there were awesome as were the horses. Monster enjoyed it and during his time there he learned how to wear a helmut and started wearing goggle while swimming. The price was perfect (free).

So one of the things we needed to find when we moved out here was a new place to take Monster riding. Mr hit one out of the ball park with this one.

He found a fantastic facility in Exeter called Angels on Horseback. This place was amazing.



It was a hot/humid day, and Monster was already a bit cranky. When we got there, there was a simulator (The call it an Equicizer, from their website: "The Equicizer, named Oreo, is a mechanical horse which perfectly simulates riding a live horse) That Monster got right on. While on this thing, we put a safety belt on Monster (this dohickey that went around his waist that the volunteers could hang on to to prevent him falling) which he had never worn before and which he wasn't very happy to wear. On top of that, we tried to put on his helmet. He hadn't been on a horse in a few weeks, but we had been taking him bike riding to keep him use to wearing a helmet. Even so, Monster wouldn't let me put the helmet on him for more than a few seconds (literally 2 seconds and then he would push it off). I was getting pretty apprehensive about things at this point; I mean, he has had a lot of changes in his life and he hasn't really gotten his sea legs, so to speak. However, this is when Mr. really shines, in my opinion. He has such a good feeling for how far we can push Monster. I'm a lot more skittish than he is and will back off faster.

If we had followed my instincts, we would have missed a fantastic experience today. I doubt I can fully describe what a wonderful place and experience this was for us. Both Mr and I were fighting back tears, the good kind.

But I'm getting ahead of myself, a bit. From the start, he was trying to take his helmet off. He really didn't want his helmet on. He really, really, REALLY didn't want his helmet on. He was crying, biting his hand, trying to take the thing off while we got him set up on the horse. The volunteers were absolutely fantastic about re-directing his hands back to the handles on his saddle. So his first ride began with him being lead tearfully off on Taz.



At Halleck Creek, a volunteer would lead Monster around the grounds a bit. A pleasant afternoon ride. Angels seems, to me, the next step. This ride is not around beautiful ranch grounds, but through a series of activities. First, they took Monster to a mailbox where he opened up the box and took out a magazine which he then carried to the next mail box, where he put it in (and raised the little flag thingie). Next, he got to play basketball from the horses back (see above), weave through poles, placing hula hoops around them, threw bean bags, etc. It was a complete therapy session! He had to reach, stretch, speak (answer questions), use different textured balls-OT, ST and hippotherapy all in one.

And this was all volunteers! Wonderful, knowledgeable, patient volunteers.

This will sound trite and cliched, but they really were Angels!

Bad Mommy-I go back to work

Since the move, Monster has had two huge problems.

1. He hates to go to bed. We've had sleep issues in the past, really horrific battles at bedtime, which have gotten much better recently (before the move). Some days are better than others, but it's no where near as good as it was before the move. He tries to be charming, he gets very wired. He does whale song (a series of vocalizations he knows makes me crazy). I watched him the other night start whale song every time he would doze off a bit. I suspect it is a fear of going to sleep not knowing what changes will result when he wakes. Some of it is the weather (hot/humid, loud air conditioning); Some of it is just the strangeness of a new place.

2. Clinginess and staying home. He has always been fairly well traveled-it was nothing for us to drive an hour and a half for him to go to 6 flags; heck his horseback riding was an hour+ from our house, no sweat. Since we've been here, he doesn't like to leave the house much. I suspect this is because he is still scared that we are going to uproot him again. He is both trying to stick to what he considers known and his as well as preventing another upheaval by not leaving. Before the move, he was sleeping part of the night in his own bed and even after he climbed into mine, he would sleep a part from me. now, he is back to my bed completely and attached to me like iron on magnetite (geek reference). The clinginess is tough for me. After over 6 years of it, I'm extremely touched out. I'm tired of sleeping with him on top of me. I have pinched nerves in both of my shoulders that result in me waking up with numb hands, my back is always out of wack.

In addition to the move anxiety, I started back to work. After having Mommy home for the past 4-5 weeks, Mommy is gone all day (leaves before he gets up and gets home an hour before bedtime). Tonight, he wouldn't even look me in the eye. We sat for about 15 minutes, me holding him on my lap asking him to look at me (which usually gets him to look me in the eye) before he would look up and he only did that because I told him he couldn't play on the computer until he did. I should have known that was coming, he turned his back on me when I took over his bath time.

This is increasing both the bedtime problems and the clinginess. When he was much younger, he would make me sit on the couch (if I got up, he would lead me back and push me down or meltdown if I didn't) and then stand in front of me with his back turned when I would get home from work. He has never liked me working, but we've always liked to eat and sleep under a roof, so off to work I go (not to mention I love my work).

All of this also makes Mr's job harder-in addition to him dealing with setting things up here regarding services, school, activities, etc.

His language, for the most part, still remains pretty good. He is now telling us when he has a bad tummy or an owie (which he has many of these days because of rough play). He even asked for owie medicine tonight (though he wouldn't take it). I try to hold on to the fact that though he may retreat more often than we would like into his Cartoon world, he reciting things out loud to us, which suggests a confidence in his own speaking ability.

Things are going to get worse, before they get better, but I have to believe they are going to get better.

How does one learn patience?