Playing Sherlock Holmes

Wow, it's been a while since I've blogged. Things have been very busy between home and work. On the work front, I got to spend a delightful, fun filled (not the sarcasm) week in the paradise of Iowa. It seemed like a nice place, but extremely cold and I spent most of that week outdoors in single digit weather.

"Playing Sherlock Holmes"

One of the things that any parent of a non-verbal child needs to learn is how to be a detective. Since your child can't speak, or doesn't know the right way to express him or herself, he or she can't say "Mom, my throat is scratchy" or "My tummy hurts". So you need to look for clues and deduce the problem.

Unfortunately for Monster, it seems I'm more like Dr. Watson than Mr. Holmes, but thems the breaks, kid.

The first thing that you notice is that he/she is acting out of the ordinary for them. For example, Monster had been going to sleep around 8 or 8:30 watching a movie. We then moved him to his own bed where he slept until about 4 or 5 in the morning when he crawled over to the big bed. He then slept until 6:30 or so the next morning. That has been the pattern for a few weeks, maybe since about mid January. Last week, however, he woke about midnight and didn't want to go back to sleep. He would then eventually fall asleep about 2 or 3 (or maybe later) in the morning.

Once you've established that something is off, you go searching for any and all clues. Monster has been having a problem focusing in class. He has been more resistant to activities he generally likes, he has had more meltdowns, he has been fixating on things more often and is more resistant to transitioning away from them, and he has been needing both Mom and Dad to be around in the morning this past weekend. Physically, he has been congested at night, he has had multiple cold sore outbreaks and his riding coach said he was leaning to one side on the horse (to her this suggested a potential ear infection or balance issue).

Ok, you now have a list of "symptoms" (sorry, I should mention I've been watching back episodes of House). Off to causes. What has been different? Have we switched up his routine? Did they start something new in school? Did he start eating a new food? Well, Mom was out of town for a week. That was a big thing so I'm sure that had some impact on the focus, sleep and meltdowns. We also have been reducing the amount of time he spends watching DVD sneak peaks and home videos of himself-both of these activities were very "relaxing" to him because he could "check out" when he did them. As we did that, we also increased the amount of time he spent playing-building things, playing board games, playing ball, reading, etc. This does require more focus, more interaction (which = more self control). We also eliminated a lot of the trips to the library (where he would check out his movies). Monster has been requesting Daddy for night time duty and I've forced my way in a few times to do the bedtime routine (even though he wanted Daddy). He had been swimming a lot, which reduced the amount of epsom salt baths he had per week (he showers at the pool rather than getting a bath at home). And he had a nasty, lingering cold over Christmas.

Now comes the hard part. How does the list of symptoms match with the list of changes? What change is causing what problem and how do we fix it? Mr and I are still trying to figure this part out at the moment. We've switched Monster to a sleeping bag with a heavy blanket to help keep him asleep longer (so far, mixed results, one night I put his pillow in the wrong spot, which caused him to wake up; another night I put the blanket up too high on his back). We've opened the door to his room a bit to reduce the temperature inside (another reason he was waking up). I do think getting a better night's sleep can reduce a lot of stuff. However, the focus problem can also be caused by the cold sores hurting. In addition, a lingering cold can turn into a sinus or ear infection. Unfortunately, Monster rarely presents with a fever, even when he has an infection. We rarely know about it until he hits the completely lethargic state. Of course, these days sinus and ear infections generally warrant a "wait and see" approach, rather than antibiotics (and I agree with this approach), so there wouldn't be much we could do anyway. Still, we may take him in just to eliminate this as a cause (or rule it in). Not something we really enjoy doing during flu season.

Of course, Mr. got a haircut, which can throw Monster off (because Mr. looks differently). Monster has been a lot more picky about my hair lately, so I know Mr's hair cut threw him off a bit. Plus we don't know if there were any small changes at school-a classmate being out or getting a haircut, a new unit in PE class, etc. Or he could just be gearing up for new breakthrough. He told his speech therapist he was "mad" spontaneously one day.

We'll figure it out eventually. Then we'll have a few days or even weeks of somewhat peace (or at least predictable routine) before the next great mystery arises.

Now, for the reward of schlepping through my ramblings. Monster ice skating :D

This is the first weekend we went:





This was this weekend



Monster flying solo:

Just Another Saturday

Though we had a crazy week, the weekend was remarkably uneventful. Friday night we asked Monster if he wanted to go horseback riding on Saturday and he said yes, so we went to our normal time. He did ok, but got very upset rather quickly. First off, it was very cold and he wouldn't wear his hat or mittens, although he will normally wear them. More importantly, I don't think they do enough riding during his lessons. They do a lot of work with stretching and playing basketball, etc. (see previous blog on it). It seems to me that he really loves the actual riding part and he just doesn't get that much in this class. Mr. is going to try and find something else that let's Monster do more riding.

After riding, we decided to check out the Hartford Children's Museum. That was a lot of fun. It is the closest place I've seen to the Exploritorium in San Francisco that I've seen yet. He really enjoyed a lot of the activities there, including a really cool klaidiscope room (picture above). I know the video is dark, but Monster is making faces at himself in the mirror here:

Back to School Blues

Monster went back to school this week, and man has it been tough. Everyday throughout the winter break, he would say "No School" each night. Eventually, one night we couldn't say "no", but instead said "School in the morning".

He had a very bad night that night. He woke up about 1:00 am and didn't go back to sleep until 6 am. He pushed every button that Mr. had. Since I had hurt my back recently, Mr tried to let me sleep, and I did (albeit not that well because of the pain). Eventually, I woke up to them fighting and brought Monster back into bed with me where I was able to get him to sleep. We tried to let him sleep as late as we could (rather we all tried to sleep as long as we could) and he was about an hour late for school, but we still made him go. We were concerned he would try to stay awake hoping to get out of school the next day.

Monday night rolls around, and after the movie, we go back into the bedroom. I asked him where he wanted to sleep (Mommy's bed or Z's bed) and he said his bed. However, he almost immediately asked for Mr to help him go to sleep. I think it took Monster about 15 minutes or so before he pushed Mr right over the edge. I intervened and Monster went to sleep relatively easily at that point. Unfortunately, Tuesday wasn't a great day at school-he bit and pinched his teacher. Nightime was also difficult (again). He wouldn't settle down during the movie and eventually I made him go to his room because he was winding himself up with the TV (I suspect all of this was to keep himself awake so he didn't have to go to school. Not that he connected the two, but he wasn't going to stop trying to get us to agree that he didn't have to go to school). Again, he wanted Daddy. (I told Mr. that Z broke him, and that Mr was the easier one to push over the edge than I was-which is a switch. When he doesn't want to go to sleep, Monster will try and anger me-or Mr in this case-so that he can feed off of our emotions). This time Mr. got him to sleep easier-although in the "big bed" and not Z's bed.

Apparently, Monster was better behaved (though more distracted) at school today. However, he wanted to go home at 2:00 (school is out at 2:20). I suspect this is going to get worse this week and Monday is going to be hellish getting him back to school. I would expect that he is NOT going to want to sleep on Sunday night again.

Anyway, since I like to end on a high note, here are some videos of Monster and Mommy sledding. As a bit of backstory, I hurt my back on Wednesday last week. It was slowly getting better until on Sunday, I felt fairly good and mobile. So mobile, I though for some weird reason it would be a good idea to go sledding with Z. Now, I was having no problems and didn't seem to have any pain during the entire time. Later, I realized I was fairly numb from the cold and when I defrosted, boy did my back hurt.

So here we are together, and Z alone, sledding.