Monster uses a weighted blanket at school. I've been toying with the idea of using one at home as well. The biggest stumbling block was the cost vs. his potential use. I don't mind spending what I have to get something that will help Monster and he'll use. We dropped a huge chunk of change on a loft bed with a slide that he loved to play on (even if he didn't actually sleep in it). The slide is now outside on his swing set and he is actually sleeping in the bed (part time anyway).
I looked up how to make one, and didn't see anything that I could do without sewing. I don't have a sewing machine and have only the most rudimentary sewing skills anyway (I can hem up something or patch a seam, but I'm not a seamstress). After a few stops and starts and alterations, I was able to make a 6lb lap blanket yesterday and Monster crawled under it during bedtime. I have no idea if it was the blanket or the super long bath, but he fell asleep quite nicely (for a change).
From my reading, the weight should be about 10% plus 1 pound. Monster is just under 60 lbs (he lost a smidge of weight), so I went with a 6 lb blanket.
I found all of the components at Ocean State Job Lot (similar to Big Lots) for just under $15.00. Most people suggest that you fill weighted blankets with poly pellets because they are washable. I chose to make the weighted inserts removable so the cover can be washed without the weight in them. If you substitute Poly Pellets, the cost will double or triple. You can also substitute aquarium rocks-which should be machine washable.
What you need:
Queen sized pillow covers (the kind with the zipper)
3 pairs of socks
6lbs of rice
stitch witch (a no-sew bonding material, you can find it at Walmart or any fabric store)
An iron
damp cloth (for the stitch witch)
smooth surface like an ironing board
some sort of scale (although 1 lb of rice is just over 2 cups)
Tape measure
pins
Fill each sock with 1 lb of rice. Each sock was sealed with stitch witch. Cut the stitch witch to fit the opening of the sock and follow the directions on its packaging.
Using the queen sized pillow, I found that placing the stitch witch at about 4 3/4" intervals evenly distributed the socks along the length of the pillow. You can place the socks in the pillow case first-they should lay (or is it lie?) across the width of the pillow-to find what you think is the best placement. Basically, we are going to make channels in the pillow case to hold the socks in place.
I would mark the location for the stitch witch with pins, insert the stitch witch between the two sides of the pillow case and iron it in place. The stitch witch was only about 3/4 the width of the pillow case so that I could still maneuver the weighted sock into the channel (and back out again as needed). Repeat 5 times so that you end up with 6 channels.
Insert the weighted sock into each channel and zip the case closed.
If you wish, you can also use a standard queen size pillow case to use as a cover.
The whole thing took me about an hour or so.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
To Retain or not to Retain
We had our second IEP for Monster today. It was kind of funny how we found out about it. I had emailed the Special Ed director for something else (and event) and she casually mentioned "see you this afternoon", to which I replied "for what?". Apparently there was an oops somewhere and we never got our notice. No big deal (at least not here). My boss is very flexible so I took a half day (not a hardship since I'm currently battling the spring cold).
I was once again struck by how different our IEPs are. Mr and I both feel like we are actually a part of a team. When the school recommends something, there is such a feeling of trust on our side-something that we never really had before. Partially because they have suggested things that we were trying to fight for previously.
Ok, back to today's IEP. It started out with the special ed director bringing up what is, generally, speaking, a very touchy subject. She wanted us to think about holding Monster back-having him repeat first grade. Mr and I had discussed holding him back and having him repeat kindergarten-so he could mature a bit more socially.
This is the same reason they want to hold him back-to allow him to mature a bit more socially. They made a very good argument. First off, his play skills have been emerging. Apparently in his speech and OT he is playing with different toys and interacting with people. Second, since he has been through first grade already, he would be more comfortable and be able to participate in the class more fully. They are also concerned that second grade has a lot less play involved and it may be even more overwhelming for him. The way I interpreted it is that holding him back will allow him to develop his social skills more and give him more confidence for when things get harder in second grade.
No decisions were made today. We need to think about everything and there is a lot to think about.
I have to admit that I'm feeling very resentful, for want of a better word, toward our old school. A big reason Monster is doing so well right now is because he has good peer models. One of his biggest motivations is seeing other kids doing things. Even though Mr did an awesome job of getting Monster out and about, he wasn't exposed to the same kids and the same routine on a consistent basis. He had no typical peer community to emulate and observe. I often wonder how much farther along he could be if he did have that when he was younger. That sort of thinking, however, doesn't get anyone anywhere and I really need to just let it go.
Looks like Mr and I have a lot of discussions and thinking to do.
I was once again struck by how different our IEPs are. Mr and I both feel like we are actually a part of a team. When the school recommends something, there is such a feeling of trust on our side-something that we never really had before. Partially because they have suggested things that we were trying to fight for previously.
Ok, back to today's IEP. It started out with the special ed director bringing up what is, generally, speaking, a very touchy subject. She wanted us to think about holding Monster back-having him repeat first grade. Mr and I had discussed holding him back and having him repeat kindergarten-so he could mature a bit more socially.
This is the same reason they want to hold him back-to allow him to mature a bit more socially. They made a very good argument. First off, his play skills have been emerging. Apparently in his speech and OT he is playing with different toys and interacting with people. Second, since he has been through first grade already, he would be more comfortable and be able to participate in the class more fully. They are also concerned that second grade has a lot less play involved and it may be even more overwhelming for him. The way I interpreted it is that holding him back will allow him to develop his social skills more and give him more confidence for when things get harder in second grade.
No decisions were made today. We need to think about everything and there is a lot to think about.
I have to admit that I'm feeling very resentful, for want of a better word, toward our old school. A big reason Monster is doing so well right now is because he has good peer models. One of his biggest motivations is seeing other kids doing things. Even though Mr did an awesome job of getting Monster out and about, he wasn't exposed to the same kids and the same routine on a consistent basis. He had no typical peer community to emulate and observe. I often wonder how much farther along he could be if he did have that when he was younger. That sort of thinking, however, doesn't get anyone anywhere and I really need to just let it go.
Looks like Mr and I have a lot of discussions and thinking to do.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
First Grade Musical
I haven't been blogging very much recently. Not that I don't have a lot to say, but I can't seem to find the words. A lot has been going on with our family, some good, some bad, some just life. Ok, mostly good and mostly just life, the bad is generally of our own making and related to our attitudes, which we are working on.
On the life/bad side, Monster's anxiety has really ratcheted up in recent weeks. If I were going to be melodramatic about it, I would say it is "completely out of hand" (which is what I originally wrote before editing). But it's not "out of hand" or out of control. It's just, well, more. He has a tough time not knowing where Mr or I are if we are at home. He seems to have to be able to see us on demand-so if he looks, he wants us to be where he thinks we should be. He has always not liked us taking showers around him, now our uttering the word "shower" can send him into a meltdown, or at least 5 minutes of him adamantly telling us no one is going to shower, which him only relenting when we agree, "no shower". One morning, when I was on my way to a water running class, Mr said something about me wearing my bathing suit (I had already put it on) and Monster had a fit. He was very scared or worried that I had my swimsuit on. I eventually got away from the house, but for the next few days he would constantly check to see if I had my swimsuit on.
Nights have gotten weird. With the time change, we have to face the problem with him not wanting to go to sleep with the sun still out. Then, a few weeks ago, Monster decided he needed both of us in bed with him. "Three", he tells us. Then, just in case we haven't learned "zachery speak", he will continue "Mommy and Daddy and Diego in the bed". On nights when we can't all be together, he will drive the attending parent a bit bonkers waiting for the other parent to get home. Once in bed, he is also very specific. He will say "Mommy here, Daddy there". Once asleep, we do put him back in his own bed. And every night, he climbs into the big bed at some point and becomes an octopus. If we haven't gone to bed yet, he'll come out looking for us.
In my more saner moments, I actually rejoice a bit in his behaviors. Instead of just having (what appears to be) random meltdowns and acting out that Mr and I have to try and figure out, he's telling us what he wants (though we still don't understand the why). When he has his crying tantrum over homework, I remind myself that he is telling us "no homework", "homework all-done". I do believe that his increased anxiety is related to him actually seeing the world around him and his trying to figure out his place in it.
Up until now, I've been able to ignore the social aspects of things. I've been so focused on him learning how to communicate, him having the right sensory experience, teaching him how to recognize when he needs certain things, etc. Now I'm finally starting to think about the future-those social parts I've been ignoring. How do I help him learn how to make friends? How am I going to answer him when asks about his differences? How am I going to deal with the fallout when he gets picked on? How am I going to know when he's feeling down or when he's having trouble? What happens when Mr and I aren't enough for him? We live in a fantastic community, but we don't have a local support system. We don't have people we can turn to for help, for comfort, for companionship. It takes time to develop those relationships under normal circumstances. When you have a special needs child, you seem to be even more isolated. When you are the newcomers, who live a very non-traditional lifestyle, well, things can be a bit more challenging. We've only been here 6 months, things take time.
:shudders:
Enough maudlin talk. We have a roof over our heads, food on the table. We live in a wonderful, beautiful town in an amazing state. I have a great job, which I enjoy and Monster is going to a school that is beyond whatever we could imagine for him in California-and it's a public school at that!
Monster was in his first school musical. It was the First Grade's tribute to music from around the world. Individual kids said a few words before each song and each of the classes were featured by standing in the front. Monster's class sang seventh with "Cockles and Muscles" (Which made me think of his grandmas). Monster got to play the xylaphone with some of the other children-up front and center. He missed some of his cues, played when he shouldn't have, but it sounded like heaven to me. He danced (and fell off the stands once-but got right back up), he sat when he was suppose to and stood when he was suppose to and clapped when he was suppose to (well sort of). It was magnificent.
It was a mid-morning performance and the house was packed. Many families were able to make it and you could see siblings, grandparent and parents all there. The program was 8 songs long (with one encore) and lasted about 35 minutes or so.
Monster stood with his classmates, on the end. We found out later that his aide was in the wings, next to him, but you couldn't tell during the performance. He was delightfully, wonderfully, happily average. Sometimes he paid attention, sometimes you could see him mentally wandering-as were other kids. He didn't always sit or stand immediately on cue, but neither did the other kids. He would dance, do the motions and not sing, as did other children.
When we were in the midst of the Great School District Battle, I never imagined that Monster would be standing on a stage with the other "normal" first graders, bouncing off-beat and having a great time. I felt so very "normal", except for the tears that wouldn't stop leaking from my eyes. We do have some video, though I'm not sure how good a quality it is. If it looks ok, I'll post some of it.
The challenges have gotten more difficult as he's "gotten better" (for want of a better phrase). I feel off-kilter, again, similarly to when we first started down this path. I think that's what is throwing me into a tailspin. After 5 years, I would expect to feel more in control, more capable, more competent. But I don't. I feel just as out of my element now as I did 5 years ago. Ok, that's a bit hyperbolic, isn't it? I'm older now, more mature, more educated on autism and I have a much thicker skin than I use to have. And I have my son, now. He's with me where he use to be in his own world.
Boy, do I need to keep remembering that. Things are going to be fine as long as my son is here, with me.
On the life/bad side, Monster's anxiety has really ratcheted up in recent weeks. If I were going to be melodramatic about it, I would say it is "completely out of hand" (which is what I originally wrote before editing). But it's not "out of hand" or out of control. It's just, well, more. He has a tough time not knowing where Mr or I are if we are at home. He seems to have to be able to see us on demand-so if he looks, he wants us to be where he thinks we should be. He has always not liked us taking showers around him, now our uttering the word "shower" can send him into a meltdown, or at least 5 minutes of him adamantly telling us no one is going to shower, which him only relenting when we agree, "no shower". One morning, when I was on my way to a water running class, Mr said something about me wearing my bathing suit (I had already put it on) and Monster had a fit. He was very scared or worried that I had my swimsuit on. I eventually got away from the house, but for the next few days he would constantly check to see if I had my swimsuit on.
Nights have gotten weird. With the time change, we have to face the problem with him not wanting to go to sleep with the sun still out. Then, a few weeks ago, Monster decided he needed both of us in bed with him. "Three", he tells us. Then, just in case we haven't learned "zachery speak", he will continue "Mommy and Daddy and Diego in the bed". On nights when we can't all be together, he will drive the attending parent a bit bonkers waiting for the other parent to get home. Once in bed, he is also very specific. He will say "Mommy here, Daddy there". Once asleep, we do put him back in his own bed. And every night, he climbs into the big bed at some point and becomes an octopus. If we haven't gone to bed yet, he'll come out looking for us.
In my more saner moments, I actually rejoice a bit in his behaviors. Instead of just having (what appears to be) random meltdowns and acting out that Mr and I have to try and figure out, he's telling us what he wants (though we still don't understand the why). When he has his crying tantrum over homework, I remind myself that he is telling us "no homework", "homework all-done". I do believe that his increased anxiety is related to him actually seeing the world around him and his trying to figure out his place in it.
Up until now, I've been able to ignore the social aspects of things. I've been so focused on him learning how to communicate, him having the right sensory experience, teaching him how to recognize when he needs certain things, etc. Now I'm finally starting to think about the future-those social parts I've been ignoring. How do I help him learn how to make friends? How am I going to answer him when asks about his differences? How am I going to deal with the fallout when he gets picked on? How am I going to know when he's feeling down or when he's having trouble? What happens when Mr and I aren't enough for him? We live in a fantastic community, but we don't have a local support system. We don't have people we can turn to for help, for comfort, for companionship. It takes time to develop those relationships under normal circumstances. When you have a special needs child, you seem to be even more isolated. When you are the newcomers, who live a very non-traditional lifestyle, well, things can be a bit more challenging. We've only been here 6 months, things take time.
:shudders:
Enough maudlin talk. We have a roof over our heads, food on the table. We live in a wonderful, beautiful town in an amazing state. I have a great job, which I enjoy and Monster is going to a school that is beyond whatever we could imagine for him in California-and it's a public school at that!
Monster was in his first school musical. It was the First Grade's tribute to music from around the world. Individual kids said a few words before each song and each of the classes were featured by standing in the front. Monster's class sang seventh with "Cockles and Muscles" (Which made me think of his grandmas). Monster got to play the xylaphone with some of the other children-up front and center. He missed some of his cues, played when he shouldn't have, but it sounded like heaven to me. He danced (and fell off the stands once-but got right back up), he sat when he was suppose to and stood when he was suppose to and clapped when he was suppose to (well sort of). It was magnificent.
It was a mid-morning performance and the house was packed. Many families were able to make it and you could see siblings, grandparent and parents all there. The program was 8 songs long (with one encore) and lasted about 35 minutes or so.
Monster stood with his classmates, on the end. We found out later that his aide was in the wings, next to him, but you couldn't tell during the performance. He was delightfully, wonderfully, happily average. Sometimes he paid attention, sometimes you could see him mentally wandering-as were other kids. He didn't always sit or stand immediately on cue, but neither did the other kids. He would dance, do the motions and not sing, as did other children.
When we were in the midst of the Great School District Battle, I never imagined that Monster would be standing on a stage with the other "normal" first graders, bouncing off-beat and having a great time. I felt so very "normal", except for the tears that wouldn't stop leaking from my eyes. We do have some video, though I'm not sure how good a quality it is. If it looks ok, I'll post some of it.
The challenges have gotten more difficult as he's "gotten better" (for want of a better phrase). I feel off-kilter, again, similarly to when we first started down this path. I think that's what is throwing me into a tailspin. After 5 years, I would expect to feel more in control, more capable, more competent. But I don't. I feel just as out of my element now as I did 5 years ago. Ok, that's a bit hyperbolic, isn't it? I'm older now, more mature, more educated on autism and I have a much thicker skin than I use to have. And I have my son, now. He's with me where he use to be in his own world.
Boy, do I need to keep remembering that. Things are going to be fine as long as my son is here, with me.
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