The drama, trauma and hilarity of raising a child with autism while dealing with life's other little issues, like unemployment.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Monster's first big boy b-day party
Monster has been to a few birthday parties in the past. Some of them at typical birthday party places, or at people's houses. This time, however, the party was more like the parties I remember as a child-games, prizes, etc; and Monster didn't ask to leave early.
A co-worker's son turned 5 and he kindly asked if Monster would like to come. We agreed. It's always nice to get out and find new places, meet other parents. The party was at one of these playhouse-type place. It had a Pirate ship slide area, a huge (open) inflatable jump houses (in the picture to the right), toys, etc. Previously, these places were "play in structure 45 minutes, move out for the next party". This place, was different. The party was a mixture of open play, organized games, eating, etc. We first got there and it was open play. Monster did laps in the jumpy place, ran to the slides (though he wouldn't actually slide for the first hour or so), climbed up and down. It was pretty much chaos, with about 10 5-7 year olds running around. Then they called to all the kids to sit down, for the first activity. I sat with Monster, giving him some hand squeezes, some body hugs (pulling his knees up to his chest), pushing down on his head, other sensory mamas understand what I mean.
The first activity was to go on a treasure hunt-not a follow the clues type of thing, but a literal treasure hunt. Plastic gold coins were strewn throughout the play areas-in the jump place, on the slides (I think), the floor, etc. After the wonderful young woman (she was awesome with the kids), finished explaining the game, the kids took off. Monster went back to the jump house for more laps, while the other kids were scrambling for the coins. After they left, taking the coins they could see with them, Monster started poking around the seams, finding 2 coins. I don't know if he chose to look for the coins, or if he was looking for pressure on his hands, and found something that felt weird. Regardless, he brought them to me and walked with me to the pot, like we were suppose to. He put the coins in and went back to jumping in the house. The two women leading the game, kept dumping out the coins in the bucket, so the kids would continually be looking for more coins, very ingenious! After all the coins were finally picked up, we sat together (like circle time) and counted them. Monster didn't really count with the group, but he and I counted up to 20 while we waiting. After the counting, each kid got 1 piece of candy (Monster declined his piece, which is good since he's not allowed to eat most candy due to artificial dyes).
This activity was followed by pizza-the jump place was closed for 5 minutes, guaranteeing the kids will have to sit down and eat something. We put 5 minutes on my visual timer (it's an iPhone app, it costs $0.99 and it works just like a Time Timer with the added benefit of having the colors pulse, an alarm, etc.) and tried to get Monster to eat something (or drink some water). When that was done he got to go back to the jumpy-thing. Then it was time to play musical chairs (or rather, musical foam puzzle pieces). We again gathered in the same place (those play mats that are cushioned) and I again had Monster on my lap, providing deep pressure in his joints. He said he wanted to play the game, I led him around in the circle, actually, it was more like him leading me. He stopped and found a foam when the music stopped, and made it through 3 or 4 rounds before he decided he was done and I pulled him off. After he was done with the game, he went back to the jumpy-thing and watched the other kids finish. This time, he said he wanted the candy, so we got in line and he chose a piece when it was his turn. I promptly traded him 2 pieces of his favorite gum for his Swedish fish.
For the remainder of the day, he would follow the other kids jumping/sliding for a while, then take himself somewhere quiet-one or the other of the slides, at the top, or lying (or is that laying?) down in the jump house. The kids would swarm from one to the other, so he couldn't really be alone for very long. When he was at the top of this one slide, where it was dark and a bit quieter, Mr sat with him and talked with the other kids. Monster really enjoyed watching the kids and almost came down the slide (an enclosed twisty one, and he never goes down things where he can't see the end alone) a few times.
Then it was time when they party folks brought in balloon swords. Monster said he wanted one (he's gotten them before), so I got one for him (a little girl came and either returned it to me at one point, or gave me another one-saying it was for Zach, I can't remember which, but it made me think "Why does he always end up with a girl taking care of him?" since Monster has always found some female peer (or older, but still a child) that adores and dotes on him-since his first day of daycare where the older girls would treat him like a living doll. I played swords with some of the kids, Monster and I played swords, it was a blast to be had by all! He eventually even slid down the slide by himself (without dad pushing and mom pulling).
All of the kids were great. They weren't too pushy when waiting and there didn't seem to be a single fight between anyone-they were all sharing and taking turns but in a very high energy, chaotic way! The parents were nice. Mr and I both got a chance to chat with people. Mr told me that one of the parents said he just thought Monster was shy (and we were a bit overprotective-j/k). Honestly, looking back, there was very little outward difference between Monster and the other kids. Sure, *I* knew he wasn't really chasing the other kids (and often would leave after a few minutes) and I had to hold his hand during musical puzzle pieces. But, in his own way, he was choosing to interact in socially appropriate ways (aka playing). We even made it through the entire party; by the time he said "all done, go home", other kids were getting ready to leave.
Not only was the party a great part of the day, the day actually started out really cool with Mr. doing homework with Monster. Mr would put a time on the visual timer for when Monster would start his school work, he would only have to work for a pre-set time limit (5 minutes), after which he was allowed to play (computer/DVD player). Repeat for (1)math, (2) writing/cutting, (3) sight word matching. He didn't give us any grief or tantrums before doing them (which can happen during the week). After the party, and then dinner, he played in the tub a long time, reading to me, and didn't give Mr. a hard time before falling asleep (Mr. kindly/demonically relieved me of my nighttime duties so I could endure the Bears game). All-in-all a magical fall day (despite the frigid temperatures and pouring rain).
Here is Monster working his way to actually sliding down the slide. This sucker was fairly steep and slick. Kids were flying down it before crashing into a cushioned mat.
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