Friday, December 4, 2009

Our First Parent-Teacher Conference

I have videos that I'll upload later, showing Monster reading and cutting and the like, but I wanted to put down an account of Mr. and I's first parent teacher conference while it is still relatively fresh in my memory.

Our previous school was somewhat special, it only included (for the most part) children with special needs. Thus, we didn't really have things like open house and parent teacher conferences. Then, we would consider our annual IEP as the parent-teacher conference with multiple off-the-cuff meetings whenever parents and service providers/teachers managed to find time.

So today was a new experience for us, and with all of our new experiences, it was both wonderful and emotional. Of course, I had a difficult time not crying (and in fact did shed some tears but Mr. says it wasn't noticeable). I found out something I never knew about Monster, and given the degree to which Mr and I know him (which is quite extensive as we have had to infer emotions/moods likes/dislikes given his previously limited verbal skills), it was a unique and blessed surprise to find out that he likes to write. Not just copy letter or words (which he really doesn't seem to enjoy, or rather rushes through most of the time we work with him) but to put down thoughts and feelings.

When we first found out he was keeping a journal at school, as a class assignment, I naturally assumed he was just copying something that someone else wrote or told him to write (To the wonderful women of his school, my deepest apologies for such an ignorant assumption). Not so. Not so at all. He writes (in his very poor handwriting, rushing too much, I'm sure) about what he sees in pictures, what he draws (he does quite a wonderful self portrait ;)), what he likes. His teacher told us that he will often keep writing beyond the simple statements they expect and they are even incorporating his writing down of requests. It may seem odd to the parent of a typical child to find out that their kid likes chocolate chip cookies-their kids have probably told them many times, both directly and indirectly, of their affection for them. I knew that Monster was partial to cookies since he will ask for them, but for the first time I saw, in his own hand, that he likes chocolate chip cookies (even the gluten/casein free ones we give him). He, apparently, also enjoys playing heads up, seven up, which was a personal favorite of mine growing up, and has raised his hand in class.

And we all marveld at how wonderful Monster's aide is and it just reinforces what we've known all along, Monster can do this if he has the right support.

And he's smart. I'm sure the teachers had no idea how much it meant to Mr and I to hear an educational professional say he was smart. Once upon a time in an alternate universe, Monster's IQ was measured at 58. There was no discussion about the relevance or how kids with autism had issues with IQ tests, yet it was implied that he had cognitive delays. It really wouldn't have mattered to us if he did have cognitive delays, but given the inaccuracies of the testing, we had no idea if he did indeed have more challenges to face. It may not be a wise or good thing to do, but I do have expectations about Monster's future and the not-knowing was worrisome, at least to me (I think Mr. has always had faith). Being told he was smart, along with his enjoyment of wanting to be around other kids does a lot to put my mind at ease.

All-in-all, a very wonderful (if also emotional) experience and one I would gladly repeat!

Today's videos include Monster reading with his dad-it is a PEC book where he matches the icon (an illustrated word to finish a sentence-a cool way to learn vocabulary, especially for a visual learner like Monster).One is him cutting out a shape (actually I decided to go with him doing math) and one is him at horseback riding. I'll post them in a bit.




1 comment:

  1. What great videos! Ian loved seeing Zach. I'm glad you are all doing so well.

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