Bye-Bye Bay Area???

I recently received a job offer from the Rhode Island firm. A very nice offer-not slam dunk, but nothing to sneeze at. While thinking it through, I contacted a place closer to home who was a definite maybe, and they turned out to be a definite maybe in a few months. Since this gig ends in 3 short weeks, we can't really afford to wait a few months.

So with one last card to play, it looks like Rhode Island or bust for the Steel clan. Not that this offer is a consolation prize by any stretch. It's actually fairly awesome and a dream come true in many aspects. I even love the location and it seems like the school system is more conducive to Monster's needs. The job is a dream. The co-workers quirky and fun. The work extremely interesting and awesome. In another world, there would be no question, this would be it.

And yet, it pains my heart to have to leave California again. Having moved away once, I was able to gain a true appreciation of the quirky state I live in. By nature, I'm a fighter. Seeing what my state is going through, I want to fight for it. I want to fight to make this state what it once was-to deliver on the promise on what it can be. It feels cowardly, to some extent, to bail when the times are so tough. As much as we fight our school, I have a sense of accomplishment here-I'm known and know people. I've grown close to amazing group of women (and men ;)) who are all fighting with me-my sisters in arms. I've learned so much about what I'm made of, about what I can do and about what my son is capable of. I've learned to not accept any limitation, neither for myself nor for Monster.

The thought of starting over, yet again, is terrifying. I'm not sure what Mr. thinks, honestly. He is close to native in this area and I remember how he withered when last he tried to transplant. Family, mine and his, are close and my mother's health is quite bad. She won't like our moving at all.

Then again, I like food and roof over my head. I feel ungrateful for not being happier about the opportunity. No, that's not right. It's more like I feel guilty for being happy about it. I wonder if I'm strong enough to pull this off again. Last time, I was too naive to understand how different it would be across the country. Now I know better and have more challenges.

Of course, now, I have more tricks up my sleeve and know how very much I can survive.

So Rhode Island, look out. The Steel clan may be invading!