A month or so ago (I blogged about it, but can't remember when) Monster had an ear infection. We figured it out fairly easily-he pointed to his ear and screamed himself to sleep.
Tonight, he was pointing to his ear again when asked if he had an owie, said yes-but instead of screaming, he was giggling. Normally, I wouldn't blog about something like this, but a message board post made me reflect upon how my son handles pain-and shows the world he is hurting.
Years ago, after we first got the diagnosis, I went to a lot of conferences, read a lot of books. I read, often, about how autistic kids had a higher than normal threshold to pain. I remember hearing stories about kids who had broken limbs but didn't react to them, kids who had severe ear infections and never complained. I wasn't there; these weren't my children so maybe they did indeed have a high threshold for pain.
However, I disagree with the general statement that people with autism have a higher threshold. I think they just express those feelings in a different way. They may not process "pain" the same way neuro-typical people do, but they do indeed know something is not right-something is off or different or, yes, even "hurts". Pondering this always leads me to the same rhetorical question, What is pain? If someone from another planet (who happened to speak english) came to Earth, how would I explain what "hurting" or "pain" is? What words could I use? I'm not clever enough, or intelligent enough, or wise enough, to come up with a way. You just know, don't you?
When my son was younger, and less verbal than he is today, he would express overwhelming emotion by biting-mainly me. He would bit me when he was very happy as well as when he was very mad, very scared or very excited. He wasn't trying to be mean (or rather, he wasn't always trying to be mean), he was just trying to release excess emotion. To this day, his default setting (when he is too overwhelmed or too tired) is to bite himself-not just in anger or frustration but when he is very pleased and excited.
With our kids, ok, at least with my kid, the obvious is not always that obvious. Giggling can be the sign of pain and biting can be the sign of happiness.
Never a dull moment in the life of a furnace mom ;)
There is never a dull moment in anyone's life when autism is involved! Super cute blog and I love that you refer to your son as Monster. It conjures up images of the Cookie Monster on Sesame Street! lol I have often wondered about the pain tolerance idea. Logan has a high threshold but I have often wondered if he just processes it differently. Great post!
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